Mischievous Little Minion

Once upon a time there was a mischievous little minion. His specialty was making messes. He could get into things only a genie was capable of. Somehow he managed to partake in such extraordinary feats of mess-making, I was sure I had a phenom on my hands.  A genius of the highest caliber. No ordinary savant, no my Rain-Man was one of a kind.

His name? Why, Zachary, of course. And this is one of his tales of disaster.

Toddlers explore, they are inquisitive, they thrive on cause and effect. If I throw all the clothes out of the drawer, Mommy gets mad and uses words not meant for minions’ ears. Or I wonder what happens when I flush an entire roll of this long white whispery stuff down the big water dish the kitty always drinks out of. Or, my personal favorite, If I could just get that heavy door to the big food carnival open, I could make me a sam-ich.

Yes, life with Zachary was always unpredictable. You just never knew what mischief his 2 year old self was going to concoct. Dump the dvd’s? Empty all the dresser drawers? Climb up on the sewing machine table and unspool all of Mama’s thread? Yes, yes and yes. Often times, these grand adventures were accomplished shortly after waking for the day. Thankfully in his ripe old age of 3 1/2, he no longer feels compelled to seek and destroy with military precision.

Today’s story of plundered condiments takes place precisely 2 weeks prior to the birth of Capt Snuggles. So imagine if you will a large whale (that would be me) trying to keep up with the hurricane savant that is Zachary. I assure you, it was not an easy task.

I suppose it was my own fault for not shackling him to a chair or some such thing, but I was only out of the room for a minute.

You know how pregnant whales have to pee.

The thing is, I just didn’t see it at first. No, I walked past the largest phenom-created disaster ever witnessed by mere mortals and didn’t bat an eyelash. I think maybe it just didn’t register in my hormone addled brain that the sea of brown on the carpeting was something edible.

Can you guess what it is?

I walked past this, I did, but something beckoned me back into the room. Maybe, just maybe, out of the corner of my eye, I saw these wee hand and foot prints and wondered “Where did those come from?”.

I turned a blind eye to the sea of brown, but these tiny hand and foot prints caught my eye.

It wasn’t until I looked, I mean really focused on my bed, of all places, that I began to understand the magnitude of this catastrophe.

What the hell is on my bed? I'm pretty sure I know who the responsible minion is.

So I went searching for the minion. All 8 1/2 months of pregnant me. I went looking for the phenom who, I was pretty sure was just as ooey, gooey, choco-louie as my bed and carpet were.

Sure enough, I found the minion. Covered. Head to toe, in….have you guessed it yet? Chocolate syrup. A. Brand. Spanking. New. Bottle.

Ooey, Gooey, Choco-louie. What a way to wear Hershey's syrup.

So needless to say, I had to steam-clean the carpet, change the sheets and scrub the mattress. Wash his clothes and give him a bath. 8 1/2 months pregnant. That’s what I get for letting the Rain-Man out of my sight for a couple of minutes.

I’m in awe that he opened the refrigerator, found the BRAND NEW bottle of Hershey’s syrup and decided to randomly pour it all over himself, the floor, my bed.

Of course he did try to wash away the evidence.

He tried to wash away the evidence.

And when Jacob asked me why I was taking these pictures. I looked him squarely in the eyes and said, Someday, I’ll think it was funny.

And so it is.

Chocolate!

This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writing Prompts. One of her 5 weekly choices was:

What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn’t have.

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Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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17 thoughts on “Mischievous Little Minion

  1. LOLFRY @ “food carnival.” Ahahaha. I have a two year old and a one year old. They know not the magical substance called “chocolate syrup.” And after reading this, they NEVER will. 🙂

  2. lol. What a cutie-pie messy-maker!

  3. Jolie

    I like that he found something edible to play with. Hey mom, if he eats it, it’s not toxic, right?!
    I also LOVE the picture of him with his hands up! “I surrender! Don’t shoot!”
    Good times, good times. 🙂

  4. Ha ha! Sounds a lot like my littlest man when he was a toddler. I wrote about him today. Love those pics of him on your header!
    Have a great day! 🙂

  5. gianna

    Love it Amy….it brings back so many memories and things that you forget about when the kids are getting so old…. 🙂

  6. It’s also my Zach who is the king of disasters over at this house. And yeah, I knew that was chocolate syrup the second I saw it!

  7. Patty

    Reminds me of my youngest. I wonder if the younger ones feel the need to do things to get our attention, that the older ones didn’t have to fight so hard to get? I thought my youngest of three would never get out of the terrible twos! Love how you share those moments and remind us all of the delights of child rearing! Did you read anything yet?

  8. Oh how I wish I had taken pictures of all the things my kids did when they were little! I actually just discussed a few of them in a guest post I did. My best friend, who wasn’t around until long after those days were gone, called me up after reading it laughing so hard she was practically wetting her pants. I doubt she would have found it so funny had one of her children spray painted one of their names on the living room wall (spelling it wrong!) It is true that the older they get the more you will laugh about these things. You won’t remember they day the picked up their crayons and put them away before a younger sibling got them and colored the walls. You will however remember the artwork the younger one makes when those crayons aren’t put away. Cherish those messy moments, they go away too soon.

  9. ahh haha! Thanks for the early morning smiles. Crazy kids!

  10. idiosyncraticeye

    Hehe. Toddlers are always creative, especially when it comes to disaster making. I’m sure that there is a logical thought process behind most of these things, if only we could see it then maybe we could prevent it some of the time! Have fun. 🙂

  11. Sarah

    My little Ethan is the Rain-Man of my two boys. Once I left him unattended for a few minutes and came back to find him sitting on the kitchen floor with the entire brand new thing of Nesquik all over him and the carpet! He was eating it with a tablespoon! Got to love those little messy memories! 🙂

  12. If your Zachary and my James were in the same room, they would raise holy hell together!
    This is hilarious!

    Kirsten

  13. Oh my gosh. I don’t know which I’d be more mad about, the fact that my chocolate syrup was gone or that it was all over my bed!

  14. Oh m goodness, that is a HUGE mess! He spread it everywhere! I think I’d have a heart attack. Good idea to grab the camera first!

  15. That is awesome…you know you HAVE to keep those shots for his high school graduation party OR his wedding 🙂 Warn his future wife and all about his tendency to make a mess LOL

    Visiting from Mama Kat’s

  16. sharon

    Hmmm, how about one little 18mth old and the two litre bottle (plastic, not glass thankfully!) of cooking oil that he oh-so-kindly ‘washed’ the ironing pile with! I didn’t even know he was strong enough to lift it, never mind open the wretched thing. That was the last time I went to the bathroom alone for another 3 long years.

    xoxox

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