For a short time, I’m offering up several cases of whine. I’ve been bottling my own for years and I have way more than I can use. I’ve tried giving it away to friends and family, but I always acquire more at these large family functions than I can possibly swallow.
My cellar is filling up at an alarming rate. I seem to be bottling fresh whine on a daily basis. Time to clear out the old and make way for the new. No reasonable offer will be refused. All of these vintages would make great gifts for your single friends.
Included in this lot are:
The 8 year old whine. This vintage is sweet at first sip, but the bouquet is a little surly around the edges. You might find that this one leaves a bitter taste in your mouth if you partake in too much. While it goes well with chicken nuggets and french fries, keep it away from anything made with soy sauce. Makes a nice going away gift.
I also have an abundant supply of 6 year old whine. This vintage is full-bodied and has a definite salty undertone to it. Since this vintage is not quite as mellow as the 8 year old, and it can pack quite a wallop even if consumed in small quantities. You may need the aspirin before you imbibe. It’s a vintage that goes well with pizza and ramen noodles, but is absolutely ghastly when paired with vegetables of any kind. A nice vintage to share with folks you don’t know very well.
And last but not least is the not so innocent 3 year old whine. In fact, this vintage isn’t even bottled, I put it straight into the boxes. And while this whine looks all light and sparkly, trust me, it’s pure moonshine. This vintage goes well with just about anything, but I would advise using plastic cups as this whine has been known to shatter glass. These boxes of whine are perfect for college dorm parties.
It’s best not to mix and match these vintages, stick with one and you’re sure to have a pleasant evening. Mix them together and you’ll need a designated driver.
On the plus side, with a little bit of elbow grease and a scrub brush you could use these whines to remove rust. Hell, I’ll even include the kids for an extra $50.
We want you to imagine you’ve just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child – you get the picture. You’re mad. It’s time for revenge.
What would you sell?
Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.
Word limit is 600.