Did I mention that my marriage collapsed?
There’s no denying it was limping along before David was born. But after he passed away? It pretty well died right alongside him. It took almost two years to shake off the funk long enough to acknowledge it’s demise.
So now I have my own house, a job and 3 very handsome young men fighting me for the only toilet in said house.
I do like my job though…..
And speaking of young men, the boys are now all in elementary school. Zachary is in Kindergarten, Jonathan is in third grade and Jacob is in fifth. And for this year only – they are all in the same building! This year is particularly bittersweet though, because if David were here, he would have started preschool – in the same building! So it was with great trepidation and angst that I watched all 3 board the bus that first day of school.
I know that I was struggling with my writing because grief and depression peppered everything I wrote. And for me to continue writing like that, it wasn’t helping me to resolve anything. It just kept feeding me more grief and deeper depression. And really, it wasn’t just my writing that was suffering – it was my very being.
So here I am. My head is a tad clearer. I recognize that there will always be events that trigger episodes of emotional turmoil, it’s all a part of this thing called life. But I have found ways to work through them. And if ordering take-out and watching Netflix for 12 hours straight is not a medically approved coping strategy – it should be.